PARASITIC EXISTANCE

 

Another tax filing season, completion of financial statements season. Another season of false assurances, false certifications. Another September season. Another season of bitterness, frustration and helplessness.

In India the understanding that is believed sacrosanct is that the business never dies even though the businessman may die. A sick man can go to the doctor and get himself treated. A man suffering from cardiac arrest possibly due to irresponsible living, can start afresh with a surgery, then rest and medication. But a sick business is never declared. Hiding the sickness could lead to further sickness, well so be it. There is no honour in declaring that the business cannot sustain itself. No law enables it. Financers and creditors would not listen to any such thing. It would be termed suicidal. The businessman would be considered non-bankable and financially untouchable. He would be socially ostracized and declared an utter failure in life. Who would want such a fate! Never! Not even for one’s enemy. Well then the obvious question that should strike a sensible mind is; how does an Indian businessman keep a dead business alive? Abracadabra! He has a magic portion, an elixir, in the form of his auditor who for a few rupees more would be ready to attest any bullshit. Without casting aspersions around, permit me to confess, I am one such leech. Pathetic but true. I am transformed into a parasite who survives on the shameful yet practical and natural act of surviving of the dead.

Do not misunderstand this to be some boast. This is more of mourn from the slashed guts of a sterile, inept and defeated man. However even if it is taken to be a boast, what good or bad can it do to my already existing miserable state? Still I do dare to publish this repulsive post into public domain in some foolish hope of deliverance. My good friend advises me, “Don’t make it to be such a strong issue. The more you repulse it, the more it will become big. Behave as if it is nothing, have a pleasant mind and some day it will simply not be there”. Excellent advice and I have to work on its implementation. I could possibly view this as an act of kindness, a social service where I help keep the smile on the faces of the various stakeholders of the business. Else I can pretend to be a doctor who tries in vain struggling against the will of God and artificially sustaining life through some extraneous life support machines. 

Economic activity is a game of the mind, it is all an illusion. One illusion sustains another and an unbroken chain of illusions are created and then sustained through deliberate human endeavor. Once caught in this whirlpool there is no escape. Therefore having chosen to be a part of this falsifying racket I should not be claiming the desire to walk the moral high grounds of “Oh, how I hate doing this stuff”. That makes me a class one hypocrite and a confused idiot to the boot.

This raises the fundamental problem all over again, what am I doing here, this is not the right place for me. As always I do not have an answer to this. Not yet.

THE ASARAM SYNDROME

Just as politics is the last resort of the scoundrel, spirituality has become the last resort of the lascivious. Just as strongly the believers in the country’s potential would add that all politicians are not bad, the faithful’s of the cults of God would append that all Gurus are not lewd. So why this fallacy? Why is this initial statement of fact such a common sight in this country and yet we would be happy and positively inclined to accept the latter opposite. Are we all blind or can’t we accept the reality?

This post is not about the politicians but rather about the Godmen and well, things are not so plain vanilla as they appear to be. For starters, the spiritual life is the most difficult of choices which an individual can attempt and yet supposedly the simplest way of living imaginable. Then, a spiritual aspirant cannot afford to fall from grace while his path is right on the razors edge. Further, it may seem ordinary but yet very difficult to honestly lead an ordinary spiritual life because the lure of fame, comfort and sense gratification are too powerful to resist.

There are two issues involved. The first is the control over one’s mind. When one choses the spiritual life, it is meant to be a sacrifice of all sense desires. However for that one has to be aware of one’s body, the sense organs and their objectives, the depth and strength of the relationship between the mind and the body. To be able to keep the mind light and free of attachments, cravings and aversions is the foundation of the spiritual life. To ignore these aspects or to not ascribe the necessary importance to it is akin to inviting ones doom. Sooner or later the spiritual aspirant is bound to fall prey to the enticing mind.

The other issue is the knowledge of one’s self. To know you is first to understand and then acknowledge, accept the nature and character of your mind as well as intelligence and second to work diligently within its limits towards the selected goals. The present nature and character of the mind and intelligence is a cumulative establishment of all previous actions and conduct through numerous life times. They cannot be easily deciphered and the least easy to accept. Every individual is carried away by the thought and power of present potential and therefore becomes a victim to the past tendencies of the mind and intelligence. One has to carefully observe the play of events around oneself to gather clues about the nature of one’s mind, and then wield and wed it to the spiritual goals. This is never easy because the cycle of karmic retribution has to unfold and one has to undergo the consequences of one’s past conduct. It becomes an immensely difficult task to balance and merge the past effects with the future aims. The level of difficulty is similar for both the good as well as bad past effects because they will ensure inspite of whether one wants them or not.

For those who are not careful about these things, the Asaram Bapu kind of episodes will happen. Where was the need to retain that girl with him in his room all alone for an hour and half? There is a raunchy joke on this. A wife catches her husband red handed in bed with the maid. Wife weeping: I didn’t expect you to stoop so low! Husband: Dear please listen, this was an experiment. Even Gandhi ji used to lay naked with his wife to test his self-control. Wife: So what did you find out? Husband: That I am no Mahatma!