Friday, November 23, 2012


Trees, birds, animals, and all other small and tiny life forms; all accept nature as it is. Only man does not. All other life forms also have intelligence but they all use it to survive and not to create. It is we Humans alone who try to make it better, think to make it better and try to achieve perfection. We get involved and get bound by the world. That becomes the purpose of our life. We somehow foolishly want a better experience, a perfect experience. Man has been trying to create a better world to live in since ages. In the process he also tries to establish his own identity. “I want to do this” and “I have done that”.  But EGO for the benefit of others or EGO to establish his own identity has separated man from nature. Education too is directed towards creation. What has been created so far, and who has done it gets praised. So the next generation also wants to create, wants to tamper with nature, not simply to life of it but rather to bend it to his desire.

Definitely a lot has been achieved in that. Progress made by science in various fields cannot be overlooked. But scientific progress which disturbs the natural state of the world as made available to Humans; is it good? Electricity, cement concrete, petroleum products, newsprint are all for the benefit of man but has come after severe exploitation of nature. All these above have become necessary for modern living and the pressure is high to carry this forward. As more modern aminities and facilities are available more people seem to want them. Take the case of telecommunications. It has progressed from land telephone to mobile phone to internet to 4G and now 5G. As demand grows, it becomes cheaper and reach widens. But do we realize now that it operates only on electricity. Forests are destroyed, birds and animals are destroyed, all without being replaced, just because more population wants more land, wants more minerals, wants more food and want more electricity. This Human desire for better facilities has disturbed nature immensely as if it were irrelevant and inconsequential. Are Humans not a part of this nature? Is man extra-terrestrial? Does he not feel for nature? Does he not belong to this nature? Would not a higher and practical purpose be served if man focused his intelligence to find out; what is life, why does the heartbeat, how does the mind work, why does the universe exist and what is beyond?

Sadly and with sizable remorse I have to admit that we humans are the only selfish life form on this planet. Coupled with that we are also the most stupid because we do not understand our own benefit. It is very easy to be distracted by the world. Everything around us, that which is created by nature and that which is created by man, enters through sense organs and distracts us. It gives us a sense of being, which is both hollow and false, that we are entities of permanent reach and value. Everything around us distracts us from realizing our real and true potential which is within us, which is to break free from the shackles of pain and suffering, to real and lasting happiness. That is to merge with nature itself.


I am returning to writing after a long break during when I did not feel the inclination to put the keypad to my thoughts. During this period I was losing as well as finding myself alternatingly, hurtling down the abyss and then climbing to the peak only to fall again. A very disagreeable phase of mind I should confess. Official work has been going on as usual without any major hiccup and all these up and down travel have been of the mind alone.
During this time a lot has been happening on the conscience of this erstwhile great country with reference to the matter of corruption and degradation of its moral fiber. Like a couple of ugly ruptures on the wounds of an injured body, a number of fraudulent practices have been exposed in great detail by the various groups (media, NGO’s, IAS executives, etc.) Let’s look at what nature of ugliness that is seen.
The visible conclusions being;
(a) Every occupation, profession and every economic activity without any exception (including the judiciary and the military) is dense with corrupt practices. The plight is such that we now feel the immorality and corruption creeping into non-economic and innocent activities like prayer, friendship, and leisure.
(b) Every immoral and corrupt activity has an objective of obtaining an unfair advantage, undeserved benefit, and illegal wealth.       
(c) While everybody would turn a blind eye to the immoral acts of the other whether friend or foe in a quid pro quo kind of expectation; every exposure of corruption is always motivated, with an obvious personal axe to grind.
The invisible conclusions being;
(a) Every Indian wants to become wealthy and famous overnight without having to work hard for it.
(b) Immorality has become the acceptable standard of life amongst those born after independence. Honesty, transparency and accountability have been erased from the ethos of the Indian people.
(c) Hypocrisy is on the forefront of every mouth that opens to talk on this subject including mine. All of us can only talk about others; none of us have the courage to rectify our own selves.
(d) The immediate future of this country is dark. Mark my words, as of now we have yet to hit the rock bottom.

 Of late there has been a series of discussions in the news media about the extent of immorality in our lives our society and how to cope with it. However as long as money making and materialistic philosophy continues to rule at the heart of humans there cannot be an escape from the insecurities of loss. Sadly people do not have any solution in sight and neither is there a charismatic leader who is clean at the same time and who others can look up to. The entire nation has accepted mediocrity in every sphere of live and in every branch of activity to be the gospel supreme.

Lest it be assumed that this is another note on current affairs I wish to link the awareness of this dull mediocrity in my life as well which has depressed my sensibilities. An overpowering sense of impotency has impregnated all my thoughts and actions and makes me feel like a zombie slowly walking through life without a purpose. A keen sense of being corrupt flows as a strong undercurrent in all my activities accompanied with a fatal acceptance that I am a good for nothing. Let’s take my work first. I do rubbish for clients who have no moral character as well. I help them to indulge in their vanity and their dastardly attempts at image projection and its protection. Till date I have not mustered the courage to refuse them this pleasure only for the fear that they will get it done from another who also will get paid for it instead of me. What a coward! It isn’t that professionals with higher skills are exempted from such nefarious practices or that some professionals can afford to and some are permitted to remain aloof from doing despicable acts of omission and commission. Ii is accepted and understood that if a CA doing any type of work wants to move ahead in life then he/she has to get their hands muddied some way or the other.  It boils down to the issue of earning enough money and the individual definition about what enough means. A rotten profession indeed! Even so convinced I cannot bring myself to walk out of it as yet, atleast not at this moment. Probably I do not have the stomach to take an immediate fearless stand. I am the typical mango Indian who has let himself and the country down. Hollow and insipid! Next on the personal front too I have allowed myself to drift away from my preferred or chosen path. Of late it has been a lot of movies, comic books and other bodily and external charms which has captured the attention of my mind and there seems to be no let up. One distraction leads to another and quickly a habit is established. Over a short period of a couple of weeks I come to realize that I am held captive by some external fancy. The immediate next agenda then becomes the process of breaking the habit. Somehow I am beginning to comprehend that the level of seriousness which is needed to keep myself on the chosen path is missing. Either I am faking this whole chosen path ambiance which reduces me to the level of a silly melodrama. Otherwise it is very obvious that I am not good enough which then culminates into the realms of sober self-doubt.