Thursday, March 1, 2012

RETIREMENT



A thought that has constantly been playing on the strings of my mind is the wish to retire. Retire from work. Work means doing something with the sole objective of procuring food, clothing and shelter; it has nothing to do with one’s interest or liking, and least of all with satisfaction. Obviously, it is a sad reflection of my state of mind and a sadder one of the kind of work that I do for a living. Since a very long time my dream activity has been to be always seated on a chair, with a book in hand, doing nothing else, no worries about food and money and no desire either. If I feel bored with reading I could walk around the chair or lay down on the floor and sleep. I don’t need a bed either. No going to work, no office clothing, no driving in the traffic, no clients expectations to cater to, no hankering for fees, no thoughts about the next meal. Of course apart from reading I would also be doing meditation and write. Ah! the thought itself is so stress free, so relaxing, so dream like.

Let’s ignore the dream portion and spend efforts on deciphering the idea of retirement which has a big connotation in today’s world. Majority of the people whom I have talked to cannot conceive the thought of retirement before their time. People mostly identify retirement with entry into the age of 60. Old age and dependency are looked down upon with despise and something so shameful that could happen to anyone else but not to self. No one wants to grow old, so no one wants to retire either and so those with unfulfilling work drag themselves along the unhappy road. Some people identify retirement with cessation of physical activity and therein lurks a fear - loss of importance and of becoming unwanted. A man’s ego does not permit such playful and mischievous thinking and therefore the idea of retirement gets thrown out of the window. They ask queer questions like what am I to do after retirement? Next, retirement is often viewed as the end of income earning phase which gets enhanced into the negative state of loss of freedom. And then there also are two other major deterrents to retirement; one, it is not a choice for people who are in the midst of shouldering family responsibilities and second, it is not a choice for people who entertain personal ambitions.

I sound to be pushing the envelope on retirement without any rationale. Why would I fancy retirement when there is no grounds to justify the same. Well to defend my argument let me begin with defining that retirement to me is to simply jump out of the rat race.  Irrational as it may sound, I think it is not worth leading a life burdened by desire. Retirement has nothing to do with any superannuation age, or reduction in physical activity, or even not earning money. Retirement is just a choice that my life won’t be bound by and held captive by events and people around me. It is the ability to call my life my own, to lead my life on my terms. Retirement is not to pursue goals and objective that will satisfy my image or assuage my fears. It is the freedom to stop and smell the flowers. Retirement is where an invisible inner satisfaction and peace is more important than exhibitionism and external display of achievements.

Bhagwat Gita says that in life one has to partake in action and it is inevitable but that action is supreme which is undertaken without any desire for fruits. That state of mind is supreme which is equanimous towards success and failure, when they don’t matter. However people lead lives moving from one desire to the next. When expectation exceeds performance they call it failure, otherwise it is called success. In both events they remain unhappy because they fear failures to prolong and success to be short lived. Gautama Buddha proclaimed that desire is the root of all unhappiness. Therefore is it not better to retire from such a life where desire controls the shots. Man does wonderful work when there is no stress and pressure of performance. Great works of art and science have been achieved by those working without fear or disregard to fear of goals. When the passion to perform becomes more important than the result of performance high standards are created.

 Coming back to where I started, I wish I can lead a fully retired life from today. In fact I am leading a semi-retired life but there is still a gap between what I do and wish to do. Certain obligations and fears still hold me back. I pray that someday I will be able to cross this chasm into the worlds of my dream.

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