A thought that has constantly been playing on the strings of
my mind is the wish to retire. Retire from work. Work means doing something
with the sole objective of procuring food, clothing and shelter; it has nothing
to do with one’s interest or liking, and least of all with satisfaction.
Obviously, it is a sad reflection of my state of mind and a sadder one of the
kind of work that I do for a living. Since a very long time my dream activity
has been to be always seated on a chair, with a book in hand, doing nothing
else, no worries about food and money and no desire either. If I feel bored
with reading I could walk around the chair or lay down on the floor and sleep.
I don’t need a bed either. No going to work, no office clothing, no driving in
the traffic, no clients expectations to cater to, no hankering for fees, no
thoughts about the next meal. Of course apart from reading I would also be
doing meditation and write. Ah! the thought itself is so stress free, so relaxing, so
dream like.
Let’s ignore the dream portion and spend efforts on deciphering
the idea of retirement which has a big connotation in today’s world. Majority
of the people whom I have talked to cannot conceive the thought of retirement
before their time. People mostly identify retirement with entry into the age of
60. Old age and dependency are looked down upon with despise and something so
shameful that could happen to anyone else but not to self. No one wants to grow
old, so no one wants to retire either and so those with unfulfilling work drag
themselves along the unhappy road. Some people identify retirement with
cessation of physical activity and therein lurks a fear - loss of importance
and of becoming unwanted. A man’s ego does not permit such playful and
mischievous thinking and therefore the idea of retirement gets thrown out of
the window. They ask queer questions like what am I to do after retirement? Next,
retirement is often viewed as the end of income earning phase which gets
enhanced into the negative state of loss of freedom. And then there also are two
other major deterrents to retirement; one, it is not a choice for people who
are in the midst of shouldering family responsibilities and second, it is not a
choice for people who entertain personal ambitions.
I sound to be pushing the envelope on retirement without any rationale.
Why would I fancy retirement when there is no grounds to justify the same. Well
to defend my argument let me begin with defining that retirement to me is to simply
jump out of the rat race. Irrational as
it may sound, I think it is not worth leading a life burdened by desire.
Retirement has nothing to do with any superannuation age, or reduction in physical
activity, or even not earning money. Retirement is just a choice that my life
won’t be bound by and held captive by events and people around me. It is the
ability to call my life my own, to lead my life on my terms. Retirement is not
to pursue goals and objective that will satisfy my image or assuage my fears. It
is the freedom to stop and smell the flowers. Retirement is where an invisible
inner satisfaction and peace is more important than exhibitionism and external display
of achievements.
Bhagwat Gita says that in life one has to partake in action and
it is inevitable but that action is supreme which is undertaken without any
desire for fruits. That state of mind is supreme which is equanimous towards
success and failure, when they don’t matter. However people lead lives moving
from one desire to the next. When expectation exceeds performance they call it
failure, otherwise it is called success. In both events they remain unhappy
because they fear failures to prolong and success to be short lived. Gautama
Buddha proclaimed that desire is the root of all unhappiness. Therefore is it
not better to retire from such a life where desire controls the shots. Man does
wonderful work when there is no stress and pressure of performance. Great works
of art and science have been achieved by those working without fear or
disregard to fear of goals. When the passion to perform becomes more important
than the result of performance high standards are created.
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