Sunday, January 17, 2010


When I was young I was in a hurry to grow up. Today I ask that man with the same young heart, tell me what have you grown up to? My heart replied, “I don’t know. I was lost”. “I have lost much time also. I have not lived for all these years”. I asked the heart, “In that case why didn’t you raise an alarm in time? How could you lose yourself?” My heart said, “At that time you the mind, did not listen to me. You were only interested in becoming rich, famous and successful. You thought I was only a child and was only getting in your way. So you conveniently locked me up in your childhood memories and forgot me.” That set me thinking on a few questions and their answers.

When did I lock the child? It was during those days when I had cleared my CA intermediate and thought that nothing was impossible. Everything was within reach and I only had to wish, visualize and work hard. I didn’t factor in fear. I didn’t factor in my interests, my passion. I didn’t factor in my limitations. I slogged forgetting time. I didn’t value human relationship in the real sense of the word. I targeted others for my failures. I lost touch with my heart, the child inside.

Why did I lock the child? The heart was satisfied with very small things. It was happy to simply sit and observe. It was happy to have fun on small talks with friends, on ball badminton and table tennis, on Phantom and Tarzan comics, on Enid Blyton and Hardy boys, on Perry Mason and Alistair Macklin. It had no ambitions and was not interested in achieving anything. It was not interested in moving out of the lower middle class environment and a harsh father. In short it was like a plague in this materialistic world. Such childish behavior is not welcome and accepted from teenagers. It made me feel abnormal and out of place. Family, friends and other people sometimes tend to take advantage and I am left crying and hurt. So I just said to myself that I should grow up and the child has to go.

Was it wrong to lock up the child? When one is involved in any activity which creates an atmosphere of works and is without joy or passion, the work looses charm and fails to satisfy. Something always remains incomplete and the whole thing comes undone. The harder one tries to cover or avoid errors, the more the stress that gets build up in the body. When symptoms of the stress begin to appear on the outside, most of the damage to our life has already been done. So it is very important that the heart has to be involved.

What could have the child done? On hindsight I am sure that the child could have done magic. If I had listen to my heart; it would have shown me where my interests lay, it would have highlighted my strengths and taken control of my fears, it would have opened doors of opportunity had I pursued my passion, it would have brought similar minded people to my contact, it would have made me happy. Had I trusted my heart and my life, I would have got all my mind desires fulfilled because any work done from the heart has the strength to move mountains. That is precisely why the world admires great men and women who have followed their heart and created great songs, paintings, books, movies, structures, physical feats, ideas, inventions, discoveries, etc.

Being a child at heart for always has many advantages like being unassuming, pleasant, honest and peaceful. However as every coin has its dark side, being a child at heart attracts swindlers and those that are emotionally weak in search of profits and solace respectively. These characters become unavoidable and their influence can be kept at bay only by recognizing their intentions on their face and not fearing them. One should not become disheartened and distracted by them.