ON GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE

Which one do you think is easy, to give love or to receive love? One would say to receive love is simple and easy. One only has to take the good wishes and gifts from another. But I beg to differ. My take on this is that on the contrary it is very difficult to receive love. One can be called a master in love only when one is adept at receiving as well as giving love.

Love is not only about good words and good deeds and good presents. Love is also about feelings and intensions. It is also about faith, hope, and surrender. It is also about behavior, expressions, open mindedness and acceptance.

Two people need not do or express about a single thing in a similar manner. Two people need not feel about a single thing in a similar manner. My way of expressing love could be viewed as interference by you. Your view of expressing love could be viewed as indifference by me. The giver of love proceeds with his activity thinking that he is showering love. But the receiver need not reciprocate the same feeling.

Let me explain this with an example. Yogi loves his sister Bali very much. Bali also adores her brother. Bali has an irritating habit of cleaning where ever she sees an opportunity irrespective of whether the place has already been cleaned. Whenever Bali visits her brother’s home, she takes out a rag and starts cleaning any place like the kitchen platform, the dining table, the dressing table, the furniture, windows and even the toilet. For Bali it is an expression of love for her brother. However Yogi feels hurt that his sister sees his house unclean. Take another example. Rajiv is an engineering student. His father Sukant is the professor for physics in the same collage. Sukant is an excellent teacher and is highly loved and respected by the students and colleagues. Once due to over-confidence Rajiv fails a crucial class test and becomes depressed. Sukant trying not to aggravate the situation does not react and wishes to give Rajiv some space to contemplate the reasons for failure. Rajiv feels hurt by the silence and feels that his father does not approve of him. He gets further alienated. Take a third example. Sukanya sees her younger brother Rahul along with his friends bunking class. She feels that her brother should avoid such friends and concentrate on his studies. So that evening Sukanya tells their father about the activities of Rahul. On returning home that night Rahul gets a thrashing and cut in his pocket money. He wonders how his sister could be so mean minded when he was only outside the class because the teacher was absent.

To be able to receive love with the right understanding requires acceptance of the intention of the giver. The mode and method could be different. The words and behavior could be different. The facial expression and body language could be different. None of these could match up the receivers own standards. But if the receiver finds that the intention of the giver is pure, selfless and honest then it should be accepted with humility and a gracious smile.