Monday, November 30, 2009


Which one do you think is easy, to give love or to receive love? One would say to receive love is simple and easy. One only has to take the good wishes and gifts from another. But I beg to differ. My take on this is that on the contrary it is very difficult to receive love. One can be called a master in love only when one is adept at receiving as well as giving love.

Love is not only about good words and good deeds and good presents. Love is also about feelings and intensions. It is also about faith, hope, and surrender. It is also about behavior, expressions, open mindedness and acceptance.

Two people need not do or express about a single thing in a similar manner. Two people need not feel about a single thing in a similar manner. My way of expressing love could be viewed as interference by you. Your view of expressing love could be viewed as indifference by me. The giver of love proceeds with his activity thinking that he is showering love. But the receiver need not reciprocate the same feeling.

Let me explain this with an example. Yogi loves his sister Bali very much. Bali also adores her brother. Bali has an irritating habit of cleaning where ever she sees an opportunity irrespective of whether the place has already been cleaned. Whenever Bali visits her brother’s home, she takes out a rag and starts cleaning any place like the kitchen platform, the dining table, the dressing table, the furniture, windows and even the toilet. For Bali it is an expression of love for her brother. However Yogi feels hurt that his sister sees his house unclean. Take another example. Rajiv is an engineering student. His father Sukant is the professor for physics in the same collage. Sukant is an excellent teacher and is highly loved and respected by the students and colleagues. Once due to over-confidence Rajiv fails a crucial class test and becomes depressed. Sukant trying not to aggravate the situation does not react and wishes to give Rajiv some space to contemplate the reasons for failure. Rajiv feels hurt by the silence and feels that his father does not approve of him. He gets further alienated. Take a third example. Sukanya sees her younger brother Rahul along with his friends bunking class. She feels that her brother should avoid such friends and concentrate on his studies. So that evening Sukanya tells their father about the activities of Rahul. On returning home that night Rahul gets a thrashing and cut in his pocket money. He wonders how his sister could be so mean minded when he was only outside the class because the teacher was absent.

To be able to receive love with the right understanding requires acceptance of the intention of the giver. The mode and method could be different. The words and behavior could be different. The facial expression and body language could be different. None of these could match up the receivers own standards. But if the receiver finds that the intention of the giver is pure, selfless and honest then it should be accepted with humility and a gracious smile.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


There is a constant tussle between our heart and our mind every second of our life which we don’t recognize. Most of us don’t seem to see it that way. We hardly ever believe it to be so.

While the mind represents our discretionary abilities, judgment and decision making capabilities, to control or be controlled by emotions and desires, the heart represents our soul and life force energy. While the mind is volatile and scheming, the heart is peaceful and unassuming, unpretentious. While the mind is materialistic and religious, the heart is plain spiritual.

To borrow from the thoughts of Abraham Lincoln, “The tussle between the heart and the mind is the tussle of life, for life and by life”. Chasing the objective of a better life, the heart and the mind have their own perspective of looking at it. Each adopts a different interpretation for the word ‘happiness’. Each has a different direction.

The mind desires, cultivates ambitions, wants to learn from the past and plans for the future. It dislikes losing and adores accumulation of money, assets, reputation, etc. It seeks pleasure and comforts and abhors pain, discomfort. It is easily influenced by fear, anger and can take to unfair means to achieve.

The heart simply likes to enjoy the moment, the present one. It wants to enjoy and spread the enjoyment around. It values freedom of every kind and would strive for a smile on every face. It fears nothing. It has nothing to lose. It displays a complete detachment and disinterest in worldly possessions.

While the mind sees itself as an island different from the sea, the heart sees no difference between the two. While the mind wants a distinct identity the heart seeks to surrender itself. While the mind limits itself to this life time the heart can visualize the eternity of life.

Mind is the ego. It has a name, an identity. Another aspect of identity is the body associated with the name. Happiness is all about sense pleasure. Since the body has an age limit, the mind is in a hurry to acquire all kinds of means to happiness like fame, reputation, money, property, and other comfort providing tools and equipments. It therefore fears not-getting or losing such means to happiness.

Heart which is our soul wishes to unite with the universal soul or the universal energy. It sees itself as a part of the creation. Therefore it has nothing but love to offer to every other form of creation. It wishes to break away from the bonds of life and death, the continuity of karma and the need to exist in a body.

Therefore there is always a tussle between the heart and the mind, between love and fear, between surrender and self ego. We have a choice and we always make the choice. The life that we lead is a result of our own choice.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Drinking from my saucer

Such a beautiful poem that was sent to me on my birthday. It made me so happy.

Drinking from my saucer

I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow
And as I go along life's way, I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven't got a lot of riches, and sometimes the going's tough
But I've got loving ones all around me, and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his Blessings, and the Mercies he's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong, my faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke, and the sun peeped through again.

So Lord, help me not to gripe, about the tough rows I have hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage, when the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings, I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy, to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

When I think of how many people in this world have it worse than I do, I realize just how BLESSED I really am.

by John Paul Moore

Monday, November 16, 2009


Not that I am very happy or that I am not unhappy. I am also learning about life on a daily basis. Trying to keep my head above the water is a daily routine task. A few principles that I have understood and adopted to avoid unhappiness are;

(a) 1. Do that which interests you and be interested in what you do

Do the work which is of interest to you. Of course for that you have to know yourself and recognize the work which interests you. Money is not the criteria to choose profession or vocation. Money would flow from any kind of work. M. F. Hussian, Amitabh Bachhan, Michael Jackson, Bill Gates, Mukesh Ambani, Sachin Tendulkar are all involved in different fields and each collects crores for his work. There are plenty of such examples closer to home also. A common trait in all such people is the unlimited love, dedication and passion for their work. They follow a tough discipline along with childlike enthusiasm and focus for their work. Inspite of years put into it, for such people every new occasion is a moment of truth, moment of learning, moment of nervousness. Such is their love towards what they can give to others as joy, thrill, comfort, enjoyment or pleasure. As against that are those who spend a life time doing work which do not interest them, spreading unhappiness and pain all around.

(b) 2. Don’t try to be somebody who you don’t resemble from the inside

Be true to yourself; whatever you are; good or bad; intelligent or stupid; cunning or simple. Somebody said that ‘stress in when your mouth opens to say yes while heart wants to say no’. Stress creates unhealthy environment, scope for errors and majorly leads towards crime and deceit. Projecting an image and protecting that image is like constructing buildings in the air, without any foundation. Such structures are bound to fall and when that happens there are ruins and sadness all around.

(c) 3. Do not fear anything and accept everything that comes your way

There is a saying in Marathi, “Thevile ananthe, tashachi rahawe; chitti asudyawe samadhan”! A translation would be like this, ‘Accept your surroundings as has been given to you by the almighty, let your heart and mind be contended’. It is very crucial to understand that our surroundings are whatever they are because we have called for it and created it for ourselves. We always get what we deserve and not necessarily what we desire. Another way of looking at it is that these situations have been given to us to experience and cross ahead. Life is a journey for us to learn to love everything around us. All events good and bad happen to us so that we learn to love and be compassionate. Therefore whatever happens always happens for the good. There is nothing to fear because we lose nothing during our life time in this world. We are part of everything and everything is a part of us. The feelings of expectations and suffering of loss or success remains only a feeling and that to for a temporary period. Our attachment to such emotions only creates unhappiness for us. Success makes us want more success which creates fear of failure. Loss makes us want to avoid such mishappenings and we fear them too. All fear is unhealthy. Somebody has said, ‘Fear attracts like a magnet’.